


Painful Memories

by xiiBrokeniix



Category: Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Child Abuse, Dan Howell - Freeform, Depressed Character/s, Depression, Gay, Hospital, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insomnia, M/M, Mental Ward, Negative Thoughts, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Phil x Dan - Freeform, References to Depression, Self harming Dan, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal character/s, bullied, dan x phil, faggot, thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 14:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiiBrokeniix/pseuds/xiiBrokeniix
Summary: Two boys are admitted to a mental ward.The blue-eyed boy has insomnia, a painful past, and a troubled mind. The brown-eyed boy is scared, with voices in his head and harmful tendencies. What will happen when the two become friends? Or something more? Will both of them become happier, or will one sink further into depression? One is in denial, with an intent to die, the other is trying hard to get better, with the intent to live.Will they both be able to survive their adventure, or will one slip into the shadows and become a distant memory?Read to find out o:





	Painful Memories

Okay, I’m sorry If I’m not a perfect writer ;-; I’m just a Phan who had an idea for a fanfiction.

Probably won’t add another chapter though, idk

Disclaimer: These things didn’t actually happen it’s just a story. 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Depression, Insomnia, Drug use? Profanity, Self-harm. 

 

“I’m not depressed,” Dan said for what seemed like the thousandth time that day, the receptionist rolled her eyes, and checked the depression box on her big brown clipboard. She looked Dan over, seeing his knees bouncing and his hands fidgeting she checked the anxiety box as well. 

Dan shook his head sighing “I don’t have any of that though,” The receptionist glared over at him “Why are you here then?” she sneered, Dan gritted his teeth “My father is making me, I’m not here because I want to be, I’m in room 212” Dan said trying to keep his voice even. 

“So what do you want me to do?” the lady spat at him annoyed, Dan flips his hair and gives her his most happiest fake smile “Let me go?” the lady burst out in laughter, “You’re here for a reason, you’re sick,” Dan immediately shakes his head, “I'm not sick” he replies instantly.

“Yes you are,” the receptionist says with a tiresome tone before pushing a red button, speaking into the microphone. “Patient 212 is ready to be taken back to his room,” 

Dan cringes at the word ‘patient’ he was a human, not a patient.

A lady that looks friendlier than the receptionist appears, she grabs Dan's arm gently and leads him down a hallway “It’s going to be okay Daniel,” he grimaced at the use of his full name “Just Dan please,” he muttered quietly. 

Dan tried to ignore the pounding voice in his head, as he followed behind her. 

 

“You’re just a worthless faggot, You're a waste of space, Everyone wants you dead” 

 

Dan is shook out of his negative thoughts moments later by the lady “Are you okay dear?” she asked cautiously, and Dan nodded his head. “Okay, tell me if anything is troubling you” she replied uneasily and they continue to walk.

Dan drags his backpack behind him, throwing it to the corner of the room when he finally reaches his room. The lady tells him that she’ll be back in 45 minutes to check up on him and Dan gave her a nod and a smile. 

Once the lady left Dan stopped smiling, all his smiles were fake. He had a good look around the room, the walls were white and so were the bed sheets that covered his bed.

Dan let out a sigh, grabbing his pillow and placing it in the middle of his bed, the black color stood out in the white room, sometimes Dan felt like a black pillow in a white room; out of place and misunderstood.

Someone knocked on Dan's door, It surely hadn’t been 45 minutes and Dan hesitated to who it might be. He opened the door to find a boy maybe his age, with black hair and blue eyes. 

He was the most gorgeous person Dan had ever seen. 

“Hi, my names Phil, ” the boy said smiling, Dan rubbed his arm awkwardly “Uh, hi Phil. I’m Dan,”

“Nice name” Phil calmly replied, “Wanna see something cool?” Dan shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head, he knew that he had nothing better to do. Phil grabbed Dan's hand, pulling him down the hallway stopping at number 234. He opened the door and Dan followed him inside. 

Inside, the walls weren’t white like the rest of the building, they were 30 different colors, pink, green, purple and other different colors swirled together. 

Phil let go of Dan's hand and he immediately missed the warmth of Phil's touch. 

Dan stared in awe at the room, turning around in circles “It’s beautiful,” he says, jaw dropped. “Did you do this?” Dan asked.

Phil nods as he wanders over to his drawers. He pulls out a paintbrush and hands it to Dan with a smile. “I don’t paint” Dan replied quietly, hoping he didn’t offend him.

In truth, Dan wasn’t that bad at painting, in fact, he was rather good. He was just afraid to mess up Phil’s room because that was what he always did, mess things up. 

Phil nodded “Okay,” he said, putting it back in his drawers. 

“So what’s your story?” Phil asked sitting down on his bed, “I mean, why are you here?” Dan contemplated the question, “I guess, I have these voices in my head, it's nothing serious though, I don’t belong here.” Dan decides to tell him the quick answer, the full story was too dark. 

Phil nods, a silence filling the room before Dan breaks it “You?” he asked simply. He looks up and chuckles softly “I’m an insomniac,” Dan is surprised by his answer, but he doesn’t say anything. 

“Tell me about yourself Dan” and so he does, he tells him about his dog, about the bands he likes and about bullies at school. Phil cringes at that part. Dan is about to continue but he is stopped by a faint ringing noise. It slowly becomes louder and louder until it is too loud to ignore.

They walk into the hallway and immediately someone grabbed Dan’s wrist.

He flinches and pulls away at the pain.

The woman from earlier was standing in front of Dan and he soon realized that it must’ve been longer than 45 minutes. “Dan! Darling! We thought you tried to leave!” she says, bringing him into a hug. 

Dan shook his head, “Only talking to Phil.” 

She seemed to realize that Phil was standing behind him, fiddling with his thumbs. She smiled at him and told him that he can leave. He nods and heads back to his room, Dan watches him walk away, before walking back to his room, following the lady. 

While she leads Dan away, he asks “Can I redecorate my room?” the lady pauses for a moment before answering “How so?” Dan thinks for a second “Can I hang up posters?” She nods and they go back to walking. 

Dan may be wandering the halls of a mental ward but his thoughts were still in Phil's dream room. 

 

END OF CHAPTER

:D I hope you guys liked this, It was really fun to write. 

Please take the time to leave a comment and a kudo if you want another chapter C:


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